


Carnivorous and lusting

by xsticknoodlesx



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Background Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Full Moon, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Other: See Story Notes, Safeword Fail, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-16 14:22:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21272624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xsticknoodlesx/pseuds/xsticknoodlesx
Summary: “What the bloody hell happened?”Remus looked back at Sirius and then over at James with a panicked gaze. “I broke his wrist!” He shrieked out.---Or: Remus accidentally hurts Sirius while they get intimate before the full moon and gets terrified of hurting him again. Sirius is desperately trying to get closer to Remus and reassure him but his boyfriend just wants him to stay away to not get hurt.





	1. The awful edges where you end and I begin

**Author's Note:**

> It's been three years (give or take) since I last wrote anything Harry Potter related but I'm back ^^
> 
> **AN: For clarification, the sex that is implied was consensual but Sirius forgot his safeword and got injured after which the two of them immediately stopped, and his broken wrist was healed. Be safe, everyone! **
> 
> Enjoy ^^  
Title from "The Horror Of Our Love" by Ludo as well as the chapter titles.

James and Lily were startled out of their conversation when they heard the commotion from the boys’ dorm. They shared one look and quickly scrambled up to see what was going on. When they arrived at the door, Peter was already outside, seemingly too scared to go in.

“What’s going on?” Lily asked in concern.

“Well, Sirius and Remus were in there doing- ugh, whatever gross things they are doing when they’re alone.” James shrugged. “I don’t know what happened? Should we check or would that be weird?”

“I didn’t want to barge in.” Peter mumbled.

Lily looked between the two of them and then opened the door, shielding her eyes with her hand. James and Peter followed her example, entering slowly.

“Is everyone decent?” Lily called out.

James couldn’t help but make a joke. “She doesn’t mean morally decent by the way. She just wants to know how naked you are.”

“Just uncover your eyes!” Came Remus’ annoyed and panicked reply.

All of them did and were greeted by their friends, sitting on Sirius’ bed in underwear. Silk robes were dangling from the headboard and the whole bed was in a state of disarray. Sirius was still panting, although he seemed to be cradling his left wrist to his chest. Remus had a wand in hand, looking completely dishevelled and out of it. James was the first to speak, seeing as Lily was dumbfounded and Peter looked like he was about to pass out.

“What the bloody hell happened?” 

Remus looked back at Sirius and then over at James with a panicked gaze. “I broke his wrist!” He shrieked out.

Understanding dawned on the three friends as they slowly approached. It was the day before the full moon. Remus was probably close to having a panic attack after what had just happened.

“He healed it!” Sirius let go of his wrist, moving it around to show them. “It’s fine!”

“It’s definitely not!” Remus snapped at him before scrambling off the bed. 

“Moony, come back to bed, please.” Sirius mumbled, crawling forward on the bed.

James made a face and gave a chuckle. “Should we leave?”

“We’re not doing anything more.” Remus proclaimed, turning back to Sirius. “Not tonight or in the near future.”

“Remus, it’s not that bad.” Sirius shook his head. “It was an accident.”

“No, it’s bad.” Remus insisted before getting up and frantically putting his pants on. “You trusted me to take care of you and not hurt you, and I did hurt you. That’s unforgivable. I- Heavens, I can still hear the crack and- Listen, I’ll get back at you all. I just need to take a walk and a deep breath.”

Before Sirius could say anything, Remus had grabbed his sweater and shoes, heading out. Sirius visibly deflated, pulling his knees to his chest.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” Lily asked tentatively. “Should we take you to the Hospital Wing? You don’t look so good.”

“You look pretty pale.” Peter added, not as tentatively.

Sirius shook his head and buried his head at his knees, slinging his arms around them. He sniffled quietly and Lily gave James a look that said ‘He’s your best friend so do something’. James did and slowly sat down on the bed next to Sirius.

“Hey, mate. What’s wrong? Are you hurt or-”

“No, I’m not!” Sirius snapped. “Stop asking! It’ll only make Remus feel all the more anxious! Shit, I fucked up!”

“You fucked up?” James asked in confusion. “How the bloody hell did you fuck up?”

“I- Remus just left!” Sirius turned to James, tears in his eyes. “No matter what happens, he never just leaves. He always reassures me and- He’ll leave me for sure. I fucked up too badly.”

James swallowed a little and put a hand on Sirius’ back, unsure of what to do. “Listen, you didn’t fuck up and neither did Remus. Accidents happen and they just mean that you’ll have to be more careful next time, alright? I’m sure he won’t leave you; he just needs a bit to calm down.”

“No, this is all my fault.” Sirius buried his face back into his hands. “I promised to let him know if it got too much and I forgot the safeword. It is my fault.”

“Sirius, give him some time to calm down. He’ll surely get back at you. It’ll all be fine, I promise.” James said softly, rubbing Sirius’ arm. “Now, how about you get dressed and we get you something to drink?”

Sirius merely nodded.

\---

Later that day at dinner, Remus sat on the other side of the table instead of on the bench right next to Sirius. The black-haired boy was anything but pleased about this but he didn’t want to pressure Remus either, so he sat back and ate his dinner. Remus eyed his wrists guiltily from time to time but Sirius didn’t want to remind him of the incident, so he kept quiet.

When they went to their dorm room, Remus immediately went to bed and drew the curtains closed. Sirius swallowed his nerves and slowly approached the other’s bed, opening the curtains just a little bit to see inside. Remus was sitting on the bed, head in his hands before he looked up and saw Sirius.

“What is it?” Remus asked in a soft voice, undoubtedly still feeling horribly guilty about what had happened. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“Can we talk?”

“Can we talk tomorrow?” Remus practically begged.

“But tomorrow’s the full moon.” Sirius said in a low voice even though the only other people present were James and Peter who were watching them worriedly. 

“What?” Remus suddenly seemed irritated. “Do you think I can’t hold a normal conversation on that day? Do you think I’m some kind of mindless monster or-”

“Not at all!” Sirius exclaimed. “I just thought that you’d have so much else to think about that this shouldn’t be on the table, too.”

Remus sighed and shook his head. “Not now, please. I feel horrible and I want to think about what to do from now on before I talk about it, okay?”

“From now on?” Sirius swallowed. “You mean- you’re not going to leave me, right? I’m capable of watching out for myself, you know? I don’t want-”

“No, I- Sirius, can you stop being so dramatic?” Remus hissed. “Just give me a few days.”

Sirius nodded a little, fear rising in his chest. He loved Remus with all his heart and the thought of his boyfriend leaving him because he was scared of hurting him was something he couldn’t even bear to think off. Gingerly, he moved closer to the bed, attempting to sit down. Remus stopped him with an upheld hand, never touching him.

“Not tonight, okay?”

“Of course.”

“Will you be alright?”

“Of course.”

That was a damn lie and everyone in the room knew it. Later on, James would sit on Sirius bed and try to distract him while Peter checked on Remus. Both of them seemed pretty bad off. Remus had both his hands buried in his hair, simply staring at the ceiling, not acknowledging any of Peter attempts at reassurance. Sirius was trying to conceal the fact that he was crying but James could tell. Sadly, nothing James could do could help.

When Remus and Sirius had eventually fallen asleep, James and Peter went to bed, too. Both of them looked at one another, Peter nervously chewing his lip and James fiddling with his blanket.

“We have to do something – anything!” James exclaimed. “This is bad! This is really, really bad!”

“And tomorrow’s the full moon.” Peter sighed sadly. “Remus will feel even worse after it. Normally, it’s Sirius whose the best at comforting him but well.”

He gestured widely at Remus’ drawn curtains and Sirius curled up figure. James nodded in understanding. He sighed softly.

“He won’t let Sirius anywhere close to him. Damn, we need to do something!”

“Maybe Lily can help?”

“Yes, sure!” James nodded excitedly. “Lily is so emotionally intelligent! I’m sure she can help us! We need to ask her right away tomorrow.”

Peter nodded in relief. “Yes, we’ll figure something out.”

“I’m sure we will.”


	2. Love, I'd never hurt you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's only 2 chapters. I changed my mind. I thought it'd be longer.  
Enjoy ^^

“No, please get him out of here before the moon rises!“ Remus pleaded with James and Peter.

Sirius shook his head. “I’m not leaving you alone. I never have and I don’t plan to start now! You need us!”

“I need you to be safe.” Remus begged him. “Please, just go and come back in the morning. Please, Sirius.”

“No.” Sirius said firmly. “I’ll be safe once I transform into Padfoot and you know that.”

Remus seemed on the verge of tears now. “Why are you always so damn thickheaded? Can’t you ever just listen to me?”

“I’m your partner and your friend. I want to be there for you!” Sirius insisted.

“I’d rather you weren’t.” Remus snapped.

Sirius stared at him for a second before swallowing against the lump in his throat. “Which part of it?” He stuttered out.

“I just want to protect you.” Remus urged him, going up to him but never touching.

“I don’t need you to protect me.”

“Remus.” James said seriously. “We will be fine just like we always were. You will transform, we’ll keep you out of trouble and in the morning we’ll get you to Madame Pomfrey. Does that sound alright?”

Remus looked out the window at the sunset and sighed heavily. “I suppose.”

“Good.” Peter nodded excitedly. “See? Everything’s fine?”

“Remus?” Sirius asked softly. “Which part did you mean?” He asked once again.

“I-“

“No time for that!” James exclaimed. “The moon is going to rise in a few minutes. We need to be ready.”

“We’ll talk tomorrow.” Remus promised.

Sirius felt his heart drop into his stomach but he nodded. He wasn’t important right now. What was important was that his Moony was going to be taken care of. 

Remus was always the most important one.

\---

“Is he awake, yet?” 

“Mr Black, I can assure you that I will let you know if Mr Lupin wakes up.” Madam Pomfrey said, slightly irritated. “Your insistent asking is not going to make him come to any faster.”

James looked up at the woman. “Cut him some slack. He’s worried.”

“Yes.” Sirius agreed.

Madame Pomfrey left to care for another student and James looked at Sirius who had gone back to pacing the room.

“He’ll be fine.” James assured him.

“Which part did you think he meant?” Sirius suddenly burst out.

“What do you mean? I don’t-” James stopped. “Oh, you mean yesterday?”

“Yes.” 

“Sirius, don’t be ridiculous. He obviously meant that he wished you wouldn’t have stayed. He loves you.” James insisted.

Sirius nodded wearily and sat down on a chair next to Peter who was still asleep. “I worry about it. After everything that went down.”

“I spoke to Lily earlier.” James said softly. “She said that you two really need to talk.”

“I’m trying to!” Sirius exclaimed but quickly quieted down at Madame Pomfrey’s glare. “I’m trying to.”

“I know.” James sighed. “But you just go up to him and say ‘We should talk’. Maybe you should actually go up to him and give him a possible solution to the problem or offer him reassurance.”

Sirius looked at James for a long moment before he nodded. “Maybe, I should.”

“But not now. He needs to rest.”

\---

Sirius didn’t talk about the topic for another two days. He did, however, try to get closer to Remus just for his boyfriend to find excuses to not get too close to Sirius. The animagus would try to sit next to Remus and put his head on his shoulder just for his boyfriend to quickly slip away, claiming he needed to go to the library.

That same evening, he hugged Remus from behind as he was sitting on the couch. Remus jumped up and told Sirius not to touch him before leaving. Sirius did try one last time that day, by slowly lying down next to Remus in his bed but his boyfriend sent him away once more.

The next day wasn’t much better. It consisted of Sirius trying to get close to Remus at breakfast, during class or in the afternoon just for the werewolf to change seats or come up with excuses.

Sirius has had enough.

The next time he saw Remus was when he went to the common room. To his luck, no one else was there and James and Peter were out with Lily. So Sirius approached Remus and sat down next to him. Remus looked up and scooted a few centimetres away just for Sirius to scoot after him. 

Remus looked up. “Sirius, I want to read. Do you need anything?”

“I need you to listen to me now.” Sirius began. “I fucked up, okay? You trusted me to tell you when it got too much and I forgot the safeword. You aren’t at fault for that, you know? It was my fault.”

“That’s not what this is about.” Remus said sternly, looking back at Sirius. “You trusted me to give you pleasure while making sure you were okay and I didn’t. You got hurt because of me, because I couldn’t tell whether or not it was too much and because I- because I am a damn monster, Sirius.”

“You are not!” Sirius exclaimed. “You’re the least monstrous person that I know! You help first years with their school work, you sort your socks by colour, you bake cookies with your Mom, you comfort me whenever I’m sad, you care so much about everyone. How could you even possibly think you are a monster?”

“Well-”

“That was a rhetorical question, Moony.” Sirius insisted. “You are anything but a monster. I’m your best friend and boyfriend; you can believe me.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I hurt you when you put your trust in me.” Remus persisted.

Sirius sighed. “We both fucked up, okay? How about we come to that conclusion? You could have gone a bit slower and I could have chosen a safeword that I could remember.”

Remus looked at his lap for a few seconds. “Sirius, I don’t know how to go on from this? I don’t know if I can trust myself around you.”

“I’m pretty resilient.” Sirius joked.

“It’s not funny.” The other boy said sternly. “I mean, I love you and I want to make you feel loved.”

Sirius looked confused. “But you do.”

“In the last couple of days, I couldn’t even be close to you without being anxious! I’m sure you didn’t feel very loved!” Remus said in exasperation. “Sirius, I don’t know what to do.”

“Our relationship was great before. Can’t we try to get back to it but also try to be more sensible of our limits? And maybe more communication would help.” Sirius suggested. “And a better safeword.”

Remus eventually nodded, after a few moments of thinking. “Yes, we could try. But we will need a new safeword you can remember, yes? And if any part of you hurts in a way that you feel isn’t normal –even if it turns out that it is normal– you tell me immediately, okay?”

“Of course.” Sirius said quickly before he decided to make a joke. “I guess ‘Scrumdiddlyumptious’ was a bit too long.”

Remus looked at him for a few seconds and then began to laugh. “I guess so. How did we even come up with it?”

“You said the safeword was for when I don’t feel ‘scrumdiddlyumptious’ and I said we’ll use that. I don’t even know what the word means or if we used it correctly.” Sirius chuckled and then smiled brightly at Remus. “I love your laugh.”

“Don’t be so sappy.” Remus chuckled before he slowly took Sirius’ hands. “I’m really sorry that I hurt you, Sirius. I promise that I will do better.”

“I’ve forgiven you. I was never angry at you, to begin with.” Sirius squeezed Remus’ hands. “Moony?”

“Yes?”

“Can we cuddle? I missed you these past few days.” Sirius smiled softly.

Remus held out an arm. “Of course, Padfoot.”

Sirius smiled happily and cuddled into Remus. “I’m glad that when we were fighting in the Shrieking Shack you didn’t mean that- well, I thought you meant that you would rather not have me as a boyfriend.”

“What? Oh, Sirius, I love you.” Remus began. “I just meant that I would rather not have you be so insistent on staying that night. I am so happy with you and I would never want to leave you.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Sirius smiled a little and then looked back up. “Hey, what other safeword could we use? Do you have an idea?”

“You should choose it.” Remus said softly. “But maybe something easy like a type of fruit or vegetable; like tomato or avocado.”

“But I like avocados.” Sirius complained and Remus began to laugh.

“Then chose something else.”

“How about ‘Mango’?” Sirius suggested.

Remus began to play with Sirius’ hair. “If you think you can remember that and if you feel comfortable with it.”

Sirius leaned into Remus’ touch. “Then ‘Mango’ it is.”

The other boy nodded contently and continued to stroke Sirius’ hair while he cuddled into him. Sirius was glad that the issue had been resolved and Remus was relieved that they had found a solution for the future. When James and Peter came back with Lily, later on, the three of them were pretty happy that the issue was resolved, as well.

Remus smiled softly up at his friends because perhaps Sirius was right and he wasn’t as monstrous as he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you enjoyed this. Comments and Kudos are always appreciated.  
More fanfictions (Harry Potter, too) are on the way as well as reader inserts for Harry Potter that I'm writing.  
Thanks for reading.
> 
> See you ^^

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it so far. This will probably be in three chapters. Kudos or Comments are always appreciated.  
See you ^^


End file.
